


The Lukas Letters

by lovelyhyunwoo



Category: OCs - Fandom, Original Work
Genre: A lot - Freeform, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Bad Decisions, Bad Flirting, Bad Parenting, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Car Accidents, Cliche, Conspiracy Theories, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Football | Soccer, Gen, High School, Hospitals, How Do I Tag, Humor, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Matty is confused, Original Character(s), Other, Plot, Recreational Drug Use, School, Self Confidence Issues, Slut Shaming, Suicide Attempt, Teenage Drama, Triggers, Weird Plot Shit, alice likes boys, bad everything, bad therapists, basically every high school bad thing you can think of, but a nice bitch, but all the good shit too, high school sucks, hospital boy, i thought of this with my own noggin, i would do that, im gnna list character names, in case i become famous, not in the hot way, or want to make aus of my own story, pink haired girl, rio is a bitch, school is stressful, tbh might make gay aus for these male characters later, these ocs all have weheartit boards, tripp is an asshole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 09:32:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14808749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyhyunwoo/pseuds/lovelyhyunwoo
Summary: Sept. 12 2014Somebody once told me that high school was just a microcosm of society and after being here for 2 days I really hope they were fucking wrong, otherwise society is the type of shit I don’t wanna be involved in.life is fucked up. there's no 'but' for that sentiment. that's it.idk this is based on a dream i had summer 2017 that i then turned into an ap lit novel project that i never ended up writing but now that i've graduated i kinda wanna finish it. it's made of oc's so it isn't fanfic and therefore not up a lot of peoples alleys but i am working hard on it so pls enjoy !any lowercase is intentional





	The Lukas Letters

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first thing i've ever actually written and i've also got some kpop fics in the work also but idk if i will publish those in the future
> 
> this chapter is just a very short journal entry to give you a taste
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: nothing graphic, but he mentions his suicidal tendencies in a joking manner so if that makes u uncomf then stay awaaaaaaay 
> 
> thank youuuuu!  
> -lovely

**_sept. 12 2014_ **

_ somebody once told me that high school was just a microcosm of society and after being here for 2 days i really hope they were fucking wrong, otherwise society is the type of shit i don’t wanna be involved in. not that i’d rather be at the hospital, because that wasn’t what i would call a good time either. i just want to be… i don’t know. i dont know where i want to be. i’d kind of like to be nowhere, truthfully, but saying “i want to be nowhere” sounds a lot to kathleen like “i want to kill myself,” so i can’t say that. i do want that though. to be nowhere.  _

_ but i guess the suicidal-ness depends on how long i want to be nowhere. and i don’t know if i want to be nowhere forever. i haven’t worked that out yet, myself. actually, i guess i kinda did, subconsciously, when i tried to kill myself lol. _

_ kathleen gave me this journal as a gift for my 15th birthday. said it would help me work out my fears and deal with my dangerous tendencies when i didn’t have her or sam to talk to. she decided it might be good for me to keep it so i can come back and read it later in life to see how far i’ve come or some bullshit like that. that sounds kind of triggering though. i hope i’ve burned this by the time i’m an adult.  _

_ if you are adult-lukas reading this right now  _

  1. _congrats on not being dead,_
  2. _it’s hella weird that you’re reading this unless you’re like an aspiring motivational speaker or something._



_ i just realized that was forward thinking. cool. that’s progress i guess. i don’t know.  _

 

_ if you are adult-lukas reading this you should know that it’s 3:34 pm and i’m sitting in the grass alongside the school parking lot waiting for mom to come get me and i’m writing with a white pencil that says ‘jesus is lord!’ on it in a million different rainbow fonts. you should also know that since you are alone and furiously scribbling in a notebook you (/we?) look like a fucking nutcase to everyone walking by. as if that wasn’t already a label you carried. also you’re wearing a giant sweatshirt to hide your bandages but it’s a nice balmy 84 degrees so you’re sweating like crazy but it’s fine. you’re fine. everyone hates you and thinks you’re crazy but at least you’re not dead, right?  _

 

_ kathleen hasn’t decided if the blatant sarcasm about the suicidalness is going on the ‘don’t do that! list’ so i’m hanging on to it for now. it’s kinda better than eeyore-ing all the time. it’s kinda like the whole theory where having a physical disability is less sucky if you are able to joke about it. i think if i was a therapist i would allow my patients to make jokes about their issues. it makes sense. kathleen is kinda shit at her job actually. she doesn’t let me talk about my problems the way i want to. for example, i always bring up how i’m slightly bummed that i didn’t choose a manlier form of self—destruction. cutting isn't a common dude outlet. i should be like i don’t know smashing things with hammers or recklessly banging girls and acquiring sexually transmitted infections without abandon. and fucking journaling my feelings is not a manly either. why am i doing this what the fuck.  _

 

_ how do you end a journal entry? i don’t know i will google it later but for now i'm sticking with bye. _

 

_ bye. _


End file.
